Quotes from my boss.

Coworker: "Where's Djibouti?"
           Phil: "It's on tha back-a yo' chair!"

"Melissa, can I lick your bowl?"
     (In reference to the dishing bowl in which there had been a dessert.)

Me: "...so we're searching for 'business women attire.'"
           Phil: "Uhh... careful when you search 'business women.'"
Me: "Why?"
           Phil: "...Business women is another name for a HOOKER."
Me: "Well, I haven't seen any hookers, but I have seen (as I pointed to a picture of a farmer standing next to a pile of watermelons,) some large watermelons!"
           Phil: "...that's exactly what we're trying to avoid!"


On another note, the counselors in my office have figured out that if they push my computer monitor all the way down, that it latches and I have to move everything and use all my strength to unlatch it and put it back to normal.
...and they think it's hilarious.

Silly counselors. You know I don't go down without a fight.

                                                         This. Means. War.