One for the road. Upon which my car likes to blow up.

My luck with cars is awesome. Actually, I'm really just kind of dumb.

Rewind. Couple of days ago.

Driving back to Utah from California. Forgot how quickly my gas gauge drops from 1/4 full to empty. Realized this on a very very long stretch of no gas stations. Oops? At first I was slightly concerned. Then after more and more time passed I laughed and began thinking about what my plan was going to be once my car did run out of gas on the side of the freeway. In the middle of no where. At night. I was positive it was going to happen.

And thennn, with my constant good fortune, I somehow managed to make it to a gas station. Definitely the closest I've been to running out of gas. Well I mean, except for that one time when I ran out of gas. Anyway. I was positive my car was going to sputter to a stop when I pulled up to the pump. There was no sputtering, either.

I'm on a roll.

Get out of my car and was hit with an icy wind that I had no idea was there, having been in my heated car and all. Swiped my card, started pumping my gas, feelin' pumped about life. Looked in my car to see my bright green lanyard, just hangin' out on my front seat.

Y'know. The lanyard attached to my keys. After I made sure to lock my doors because who knows who could walk by and steal my stuff out here. In the middle of no where. At night. In the icy wind. In shorts and flip flops.

This really did happen.

Went into the gas station, smiled and said something like "Hiii..... I locked my keys in my car. ...got a car jimmy I could use...?" No good. Repeat at gas station #2. Same results, though with the suggestion of "...maybe ask if anyone around has one? Guys might have that kind of thing in their cars..."

Sounds like a good idea, right? I'm a people person, I can talk to anyone. People like me gosh darn it.

Wrong.

If you walk up to someone outside of a gas station at night in the middle of no where, do you think they think that you're just some poor stranded girl whose car broke down and needs nothing but their innocent help?  No. They don't. You're approaching them because a. You want their money and/or b. You want their soul. I approached all of one person, saw his immediate, silent gesture of "Don't ask me for money and actually I'm going to walk a little bit further in the other direction because I'm kind of scared of what weapon you're about to pull on me," and decided that not only was this a futile effort, but there was no way I was going to walk around a gas station. In the middle of no where. At night. In the icy wind. In shorts and flip flops. Looking like the crazy chick who walks up to you at gas stations to steal your money/soul.

Called my parents. I'm now a proud AAA member. (Seriously, you should all invest immediately. They're fabulous.) Keys retrieved and I was on the road again shortly after.


Fast forward. Today.

Be a responsible member of society and go to school and teach small children and basically save the world. Decide to continue my adult-like efforts and go to the bank. Haha which reminds me of this fabulous picture.

Haha, had to.
hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com, to the ladies and gentleman who are unfamiliar.

Pull into the drive-thru at the bank, where my car proceeded to break down. IN the drive-thru. Get out and walk up to the drive-thru window, sans car. Cue strange looks. Probably thought I was about to rob the place.

What is it with people thinking I want to steal their money and that I carry weapons?  On second thought. Why do I always end up in positions where people think I want to steal their money and that I carry weapons? Haha, weird.

So anyway, I walk up to the window, laugh a little and say something like "Haha..... my car is um. stuck in your drive thru..." I laughed a little more and said "Also I can't believe I'm standing outside of a drive thru window." She laughed. But then basically said she didn't know how to help me. So I was like "Well..... is there anyone there that can help me push my car out of the drive-thru? I mean, I can call my mechanic or someone to come get me, buuut..... my car is still in your drive-thru at the moment. So."

Thank you Wells Fargo manager for helping me jump start my car so that I could stop negatively impacting the flow of your business. I would have given you a tip if you had a nifty tip jar at your bank. Please see to it.

Hide ya kids, hide ya wife. I'll lock 'em in cars and/or embarrass them at the bank.